I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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