FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
