I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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