Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
