I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
