god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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