Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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