fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
