I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
