no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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