you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
