Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're my little dorito
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
