Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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