please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
