So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
