she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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