Farmville is her only friend.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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