Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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