If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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