Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
