To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
