i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
