no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
