At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
