glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
