you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
