I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
