How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
