Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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