So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we're making bets on your personal life
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
