I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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