His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
