I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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