Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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