She's JV to your varsity
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
