Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
