is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
