I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Never joke about your clitoris.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
