I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
