i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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