Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
