Soap is not a condiment
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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