I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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