please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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