Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
