just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
two words...techno handjob
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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