having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
do herpes really smell.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize