when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.