So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future