I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
