there's paper in my vomit.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize