There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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