No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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