My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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