He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
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he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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