South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
