I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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