did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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